Search
  • Brianna O'Keefe

Hey :D


I just wanted to address why I work myself so hard. I've always been working, solving mathematical equations while I fall asleep and well, every other waking hour of my life. I've tried things like meditation and therapy to settle that but it never really wen't away. But cool now you're up to date.


Since i'm always working and always trying to solve problems I feel like i'm failing when I'm working to slow. For example, I released a new plugin yesterday and overhauled at least 3 other plugins and frameworks in the last week. However since I haven't done a whole lot today I feel like I completely failed. I know this is incorrect to think but I cant stop myself from wanting to do more. Hell I would be sleeping if I thought I did enough. So if you see me up at 4am or online literally all the time, now you know a little more about me, and why I'm always working ;D Thanks for the read <3

Brianna

66 views0 comments
  • Brianna O'Keefe

Sooo,


theres a few reasons I haven’t used the blog until now. Id love to say it had everything to do with me not knowing how to talk to you guys but honestly things were way to messy at work for me. i had to quickly and ubruptly leave SpigotMC and open up my own website since things were just not going well there. Had to take out a big loan to cover the transition period so that I didn’t have to let go of any staff.


Long story short thats all over with, we moved to our own marketplace which took a bit of work to get up to snuff but now we’re making good numbers and the loans mostly paid off. Things couldn’t be better :P


I’m finally trying medication for my bipolar. Been scared of taking something for it for years. But I’m over that now. It made me shake with fear at first but, I figured it out. Not noticing any changes yet but I figure that will happen sooner than later. You might be wondering why I decided to take pills for it and we’ll, it has nothing to do with anger or anything like that but this, extreme sadness that wakes over me like a sudden frozen rain in a smoldering desert. I tried to put up with it for years but it didnt go away and I can’t do this forever. Honestly I was afraid I’d lose who I am, but this medication would make me into someone I wasn’t. shackling my personality and drowning me of my emotion. But I figure, if it doesn’t work I can stop and The effects will go away. And that’s really what I needed to understand. I’m in control, and I can decide what happens and what does not.


Anyway I’m in a better place now, working on my mental health. I’ll get there I promise.


Until next time, stay strong remain beautiful and I’ll talk to you soon.

Brianna

42 views0 comments
  • Brianna O'Keefe

Hey guys :) I have been wanting to create my own little blog for years now. A little place where I can write about my feelings and experiences without having to make a public statement on behalf of my company. There are so many times where I feel silenced or shut down due to the negative impact a public statement could have. Anyway :) I'll be posting things here whenever I have something to say, whether it be a response to something I find obnoxious or I just wanna share my experiences with you.


All Love <3

Brianna

56 views0 comments

Subscribe

and never miss a post.

Software Engineer