Trying something new

Sooo,

theres a few reasons I haven’t used the blog until now. Id love to say it had everything to do with me not knowing how to talk to you guys but honestly things were way to messy at work for me. i had to quickly and ubruptly leave SpigotMC and open up my own website since things were just not going well there. Had to take out a big loan to cover the transition period so that I didn’t have to let go of any staff.

Long story short thats all over with, we moved to our own marketplace which took a bit of work to get up to snuff but now we’re making good numbers and the loans mostly paid off. Things couldn’t be better :P

I’m finally trying medication for my bipolar. Been scared of taking something for it for years. But I’m over that now. It made me shake with fear at first but, I figured it out. Not noticing any changes yet but I figure that will happen sooner than later. You might be wondering why I decided to take pills for it and we’ll, it has nothing to do with anger or anything like that but this, extreme sadness that wakes over me like a sudden frozen rain in a smoldering desert. I tried to put up with it for years but it didnt go away and I can’t do this forever. Honestly I was afraid I’d lose who I am, but this medication would make me into someone I wasn’t. shackling my personality and drowning me of my emotion. But I figure, if it doesn’t work I can stop and The effects will go away. And that’s really what I needed to understand. I’m in control, and I can decide what happens and what does not.

Anyway I’m in a better place now, working on my mental health. I’ll get there I promise.

Until next time, stay strong remain beautiful and I’ll talk to you soon.

Brianna